Its nice to be back. As you will see, my last blog post was at the end of September and I’ve missed it.

A lot has happened since September 2009 but its all good. I’ve moved house, renovated another and now have a very different way of life now as I now live full time on my partners farm. A lifestyle that certainly keeps you fit; I’m the girl who even has muscles now and for those who knew me before they can vouch for my ’sparrows kneecaps’

I get out to help out mainly at the weekends as I’m busy with my Coaching business throughout the week. At my own admission I get to do the nice jobs. When lambing starts in about a month, I will help out bottle feeding the lambs who have been abandoned by their mums. I love doing this as when I go down into the lambing shed with the bottled milk; they come running towards me like long lost friends and it feels wonderful

My coaching work continues to inspire me greatly and it’s what makes me feel alive. I will always remember what a tutor of mine (Jan Elfline) said to me in that ‘you deserve to be inspired by the people you work with’. This has always stayed with me.

This is the question that I want to pose to you all – are you inspired by the people you work with or by the people with whom you you spend the majority of your time? Who get’s to influence your day as its worth keeping in mind that the people you share your time with can really influence your behaviour. That’s why its worth spending your time wisely.

Did anyone see this programme last night presented by the poet Simon Armitage? It was about technology and its rapid pace and how our lives are being changed and shaped by it.

What interested me was the fact that they included the Psychology aspect of purchasing the next ‘new thing’. They talked about people wanting the next ‘new phone’ or ‘new laptop’ and how especially school children needed the new thing in order to be accepted within the right gang.

That in a sense is no different to when I was a school (many years ago) because in order for us to feel liked and accepted we feel we needed to have the right ’stuff’. Back then it was the right pencil case or a pair trainers and now its the latest Ipod and smartphone.

How many of us have said, ‘when I have that new job, then I’ll be happy’, or ‘when I get that new car, then I will be happy’. Why do we put off being happy to a later date? Why can’t we be happy now?

What would it be like if we could get an upgraded version of ourselves? This is a good question as it makes you think about what is it about you right now that you would like to change. Then, if there is something in your behaviour that you would like to really change, start making a note of what it is and take the first step to change it. Then you’ll be able to reap the rewards.

If you’ve ever been on a diet or read a diet book, the chances are you’ve been advised to keep a food diary; where very quickly you can see where all those calories come from. Well have you ever done it with your habits?

What are the things you do every day which actually help you feel nice. Is it that first coffee in the morning? Do you have to have a biscuit with it? Is it walking the dog before you head off to work or is it bringing your loved one a cup of tea in bed?

Start identifying your healthy habits – those ones that add something to your life and ged rid of the ones that make you feel worse. When you get dressed in the morning or when you look in the mirror are you nice to the person who you see in front of you or are you likely to give them a hard time? Really take stock of what you do.

Ask yourself if there are any habits that you would like to have in your life eg, leave your phone off the hook for an entire day, once a month or go somewhere where you could dance. If so, add them to the list and start incorporating them into your life.

Have some fun with these, that’s what its all about.

Its really worth identifying which (if either) applies to you.

Have you ever said that ‘you’re busy’ just to put off saying no to someone because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. The thing is, there’s the likelihood that when you’ve made your excuse you still have to deal with the remnant feeling of ‘having not been truthful’ to yourself.  Which one is worse? You have to live with yourself all of the time.

Its much better to live life by your own values and beliefs rather than trying to fit into how you think other people think of you. That way, they get the ‘real you’ all of the time. Armed with the truth, they can decide if you’re someone that they want within their network of friends or acquaintances. The plus side of this is that you also get to spend time with the people who mean something to you without having to put on an act.

‘Being busy’ is fine but also ‘being quiet’ is also good. Its gives us the time to be creative. However, in business when people ask how things are going there’s a reluctance to say that its actually quite quiet at the moment. There’s a fear that the other person may think that you’re no good at what you do. If you fall into this category, ask yourself what it is that you’re not facing up to?. What is it about being quiet that you don’t like?

As we can’t be sure who is going to pick up and read our marketing material we need to make sure that we maximise our exposure to potential clients. How do we do this? Well the first thing we do is move away from the assumption that just because you and I speak the same language, we will both attach the same meaning to the words that we use. It’s not necessarily the case.  

Language is a comparatively unreliable resource and we can quickly see the weakness of this assumption if we start trying to find universally agreed meanings for words like ‘nice, beautiful, clever, justice etc.

Has anyone ever received an email from someone that you thought, hey that’s a bit off, a bit sharp, too direct etc only to find later that’s not how the message was originally intended. It could be that the person who wrote it was in a rush and wanted to clear their desk before the weekend and in doing so missed off a few pleasantries. They didn’t realise that you would take it in the way that you did.   

It’s also worth remembering that we all process information differently, some of us are more visual and prefer to see a picture of the product being sold while others do better when they hear sounds so that we can have an associated feeling with the product.  Don’t ever fall into the trap of assuming everyone is like you when you write your marketing material because you’ll be potentially missing out on clients purely because you didn’t get your message across in a way that they would have preferred

As human beings we experience the world through 5 senses:

Visual in terms of pictures and images
Kinaesthetic in terms of feelings
Auditory (sounds)
Gustatory (taste)
Olfactory (smell)

When we talk to our potential clients try and bring in as many of the senses as you deem appropriate. The same goes for your written marketing material.

Think of the car salesman that wants to sell you that nice red sports car. You may have heard words like.

‘Can you see yourself getting into this car first thing in the morning driving to work. Just think, you’ll be able to have the roof down even on a crisp winter day because it comes with heated seats so your back is all nice and warm, perfect if you suffer from the odd twinge. Also, it’s almost a pleasure stopping at traffic lights because when you pull away you get to hear the roar of the engine…..its a fantastic sound
To do effective marketing, your communication has to be good and if at first you don’t succeed keep at it. Find out what it is that works and more importantly what doesn’t.  

There’s a great quote from Charles Darwin ‘Its not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change’.

This is the first post of the Abbey View NLP blog.  My intentions for the blog is to help make  the subject of NLP more accessible to everyone.  You don’t have to have studied NLP in any great lengths to participate, you just need to be interested in why it is ‘we do what we do’ . 

It wasn’t until I started training in NLP that I realised that I’d already come across some of its main principles during my other careers, only we just didn’t call it that. Prior to going out on my own in the NLP business, I’d had a 20 years + career within IT together with a previous career within the Women’s Royal Navy.  Now I specialise in coaching people going through change, be it in life, business or wishing to move towards a healthier lifestyle.   I love every minute of it.
My motto is that ’you’re a long time dead, so lets make the very most of the time we have’.  Could sound a little morbid to some people but I find it keeps me focussed on what’s really important in life.